Board of Directors

I’ve been trying to put my finger on an aspect of this job loss transition that’s making me really uneasy. It kind of feels like I’m standing all alone. Unsupported. It’s scary and unfamiliar. In some ways, it feels good to stand on my own two feet and listen to my own heart and trust the work that God has done in my life. In other ways, it feels super confusing and I feel unsure about my decisions. What do I do now??

My mother-in-law (Miriam Neff of Widow Connection) is a big believer in having a personal board of directors – especially during times of vulnerability. Loss of a spouse, financial crisis, job loss. This isn’t a literal board of directors who meet in a conference room and talk about your life. It’s a group of trusted friends who have your best interests in mind. They are wise people who you can go to for advice. Each person might have a different area of expertise – financial, household, workplace, relationship, etc. – or they may be people you see as generally wise. I’ve watched her gather people around her after her husband died in 2006. This group of people have been very important to her decision-making process.

I’ve realized that I’m missing my board of directors. In my job, I had a built-in board – a great team who I absolutely trusted. I could count on them for honest feedback and helpful suggestions, not only for my job, but for my life. I’m becoming more aware that my team scenario was a rare and beautiful gift to me.

Now that my team is scattered, I need to be more intentional about getting feedback from others. This isn’t always so easy for me – I can be a bit of a loner. I don’t mean to exclude people, I just assume that they don’t have time or don’t care about what I have cooking in my life.

My growth edge these days? Let some people in closer. Take some risks. Speak up and assume that they *might* be a bit interested. I’m willing to give it a try.

6 thoughts on “Board of Directors

  1. melissaglorioso

    Love this idea, Lori. Moving often has made it difficult to have a board of directors within easy reach. It takes so much time to develop relationships enough to even know who you would/could trust with a task so important! I do, however, have a couple of friends maintained throughout the many moves, perhaps I could begin to think of them that way?

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    1. Oh yes… you are so right! These relationships take time and moving often would add another challenge. I’m glad that you have a few friends who are along for the ride with you! ❤

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  2. Helen

    Similar to life after college when everyone scatters and you have to learn how to make new relationships as a late 20’s, 30’s and 40’s person…it’s not built in anymore. But Lori what you do have is years of Dee Brestins and other great people in your head. So you’re extremely well equipped and I really believe when you’re ready to be bold God will bless you with a few people at a time that will be slow paced and tender. You’ll get a whole board eventually.

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    1. Good insight – it IS like graduating from college! I do have some wise people who I can call on for help – counselors, spiritual director, family members, friends… I just need to *do* it. 🙂 I think you’re also right – I’m equipped for this, I need to trust God’s work in my life.
      Thanks for your encouragement!

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  3. Cindi

    Love your insight. Your Board of Directors may be scattered and not as easily available as they were but they are still alive and contactable. They love you tons as many of your past listeners do…they are just a phone call away (maybe after hours) but they are there. I often fall prey to thinking (the lie) I am more detached than I truly am. It takes courage to admit needing people to help you through “dark hallways”. I dislike the world’s concept of “I am woman hear me roar”. We are tender children of our Heavenly King needing a lap to curl upon, and ears to hear our hearts.

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  4. A personal Board of Directors- what a excellent concept! More than a mentor, a “board” as you describe it could offer joint, strategic advice while also holding us accountable for forward progress. Just like a corporate board, some members periodically rotate off and create room for new board members. It’s a really insightful idea- I like it a lot! Review your current “board,” actively recruit a new one or two and I speculate you’ll not only enjoy the fellowship and the feedback but identify new directions worth considering.

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