While processing the end of Midday Connection (a national program that aired for over 20 years on Moody Radio and I had worked with for 15 years), I urgently spent the first weeks trying to figure out what I’ll do next for a job. It was such a big mental shift to imagine life away from Midday Connection.
One morning, as I walked to work, my brain was on hyper-speed, panic mode. Should I go back to school? Should I quickly get trained in some sort of skill? Should I get certified in something? The world felt big and I was panicked to fit somewhere, feeling inadequate for another job. I gasped out a prayer, “God, what should I do?? Tell me!”
I’ve only felt God speak to me three times in my life – and what God says to me is always a message of grace, peace, and love… and in all three cases, what I heard was not at all what I expected. In the instant after I prayed that morning, I felt God say to me, “You have everything you need for what’s next.” Woah. If it wasn’t for the broken glass, mysterious decomposed food item, and dog urine on the sidewalk, I would have sprawled out on the ground in relief. My shoulders relaxed, I began to cry. Really, God? Could it be that I can just relax and trust You?
These days, I’m trying to hold on to what I know to be true:
1) God loves me.
2) I can trust God.
3) I don’t have to have it all figured out right now.