Inside “The End”, Part 2

(Read Part 1 here)

Back in my office, still reeling from the news that Midday Connection (a program that aired nationally on Moody Radio for over 20 years) was ending, I stood in front of my bookcase and just stared. I had rows of books lined up for giveaways, Millrose Club mugs, potential guest information, a binder full of dreams for future Midday adventures… I grabbed a stack of promotional materials and headed for the big trash bin.

I emptied my bookshelves that first day. Somehow that felt good. It was too sad to look at all of the possibilities and dreams for a dying program. I’d rather look at empty shelves that spoke of other possibilities that I couldn’t see yet.

I went about my job in a fog. Our team was in shock, but we still needed to schedule programs, host programs, and answer listener emails, post facebook posts – and not tell anyone that the program was ending. The week after my meeting, I hosted a program and swallowed my tears and shook off my sadness as the on-air light came on. I wondered how were we going to manage this? I understood the reasons why we couldn’t tell anyone about the change – Moody Radio had a contractual agreement with our affiliate radio stations and they needed to be informed first. But, going about our days, doing programs, pretending nothing was wrong was painful. One of the things I’ve loved most about Midday is our pursuit of authenticity and vulnerability with our listeners. We talked about real struggles – our own personal struggles, doubts, half-formed thoughts. And, here was a biggie that we couldn’t talk about with listeners. I felt like a liar, a fraud.

Along with this deep grief, anger, and heartbreak, I recognized that there was some anticipation, relief, and readiness to see what God might have for me next. Holding grief and anticipation together – in the same hand, with the same breath – has been maddening, draining. How do you authentically live both realities? Well, here’s my chance to learn as I sat in my chair.

…read Part 3 here…

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12 thoughts on “Inside “The End”, Part 2

  1. Pingback: Inside “The End”, Part 1 | Lori Neff

  2. Nancy Green

    It was such a surprise to all of us! Have listened for years. I commiserated with Sarah Groves this past weekend when she attended a Ladies’ Day Out at a church in Wooster, OH. She was concerned too… However, life does go on, as I’ve learned in my 74 years. God is opening new doors for me even at this age!

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  3. I can’t bear to listen to the “best of Midday” programs they’ve been airing. It feels like salt in the wound. I can’t begin to imagine your grief, but thank you for your authenticity here on your blog. I appreciate your honest writing about how you felt. Prayers and hugs from a long time listener. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maggie

      Prayers for you all. Your program was insightful, nurturing, thought provoking, and more. I am so disappointed in Moody’s decision to cancel, just
      as I was when they cancelled the team of Mark, Dave, & Monte on the morning show . All of you are like friends, welcomed into our home when we turned your programs on. Something is not right @ Moody, and I think they are missing the needs of their listeners.

      Midday Connection can and did reach a wider demographic than the current dry, one man show of lessons @ midday. I’m sure this man is a good man of God, but… Aren’t we trying to get God’s message out to as many as possible? Your program was fresh & relevant, & your warmth as a team reached out to others through the radio.

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  4. Lori, is there anything more you can share with us about WHY Midday Connection was cancelled? I have been surprised at how painful this loss has been for me personally. I never would have expected to shed many tears over the cancellation of a radio program, but Midday has meant so much to me over the last several years as I have been mostly housebound with chronic pain. I feel a need to understand the why.

    However I know that God is sovereign over all circumstances. And I know that you, Lori, are a woman of wisdom so I will understand if you decide it is best not to share more details. I love you, sister, and I am praying for you as you grieve this loss and move forward into a new season of ministry.

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  5. Thanks for sharing from your heart, Lori. While my heart hurts for you as I read what you went through, it is also personally helpful to me to read of another believer’s emotions and journey through loss. I know that I am not alone as I absorb loss, disappointment, and change.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Inside “The End”, Part 3 | Lori Neff

  7. Pingback: Inside “The End”, Part 2 | iambelieverbelinda

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